Ready for some cruise tips that go beyond the ordinary? If you’ve ever wondered about the wilder, risqué aspects of life on a cruise ship, you’re in the right place. Whether it’s sneaky balcony activities, figuring out the truth behind drink packages, or understanding what’s really allowed on the topless sun deck, we’ve got the scoop on the naughtiest cruise secrets you need to know.
Let’s dive in, but remember – what happens at sea doesn’t always stay at sea, especially in the age of social media.
1. Caught in the Act? Social Media Never Sleeps
The number one rule for any naughty cruise activity: don’t do anything in public you wouldn’t want to see on TikTok tomorrow. Almost every cruiser has a camera in their pocket, and with Wi-Fi readily available, a slip-up can go viral in minutes. From wild brawls to people caught fishing off the ship, if you make a scene, it’s likely to hit the internet faster than you can say, “international waters.” So, keep the fun behind closed doors, or prepare for your 15 minutes of fame.
2. Balcony Shenanigans: Proceed with Caution
Romantic cruise getaways with private balconies are perfect for watching sunsets, stargazing, or… something more intimate. But before you get carried away, here’s what you need to know: privacy is not as absolute as you think. Those dividers between balconies? There’s often a small gap at the bottom, and at certain angles, glass reflections can give your neighbors a peek at your activities. For discretion, turn off your balcony light and keep your voice down. The thrill is real, but so is the risk of an accidental audience.
3. Prescription Pills Abroad: A Cheaper, Easier Option
If you’ve ever been curious about picking up certain medications—like those infamous little blue pills—without the hassle or cost of a doctor’s visit, cruising to destinations like Mexico might surprise you. Many ports have pharmacies offering cheaper medications, often without the need for a prescription. However, use caution. Just because you can buy something doesn’t mean you should. It’s your health at stake, so be sure to know what you’re doing.
4. Looking for a Party? Choose Your Cruise Wisely
If your idea of a great vacation involves letting loose, drinking, and dancing until dawn, shorter cruises (think three days) departing from party hotspots like Miami are your best bet. The vibe on these cruises is wild, with plenty of people ready to turn up. Compare that to longer, more relaxed cruises from places like Seattle, which are typically mellower. Your fellow cruisers make a big difference in the atmosphere, so pick a party ship if that’s what you’re after!
5. Looking to Mingle? The Singles Scene Awaits
Cruising solo and hoping to meet someone special? Many cruise lines host casual singles meetups—nothing too formal, just a time and place to hang out. It’s a great way to connect with other solo travelers, and who knows, maybe you’ll find a vacation fling. Just remember, it’s a small world on a ship. If things don’t go as planned, you might be bumping into your newfound “friend” for the rest of the trip. Awkward encounters, anyone?
6. Drink Packages: To Buy or Not to Buy?
One of the most debated topics in cruise circles: are drink packages worth it? It depends on your drinking habits. If you’re the type who can’t imagine vacation without a cocktail in hand, you’ll likely get your money’s worth. On the other hand, if you need a break after a few drinks, you might not break even, especially since you can’t use the package while ashore. Do the math based on how much you actually plan to drink, not just on the excitement of all-you-can-drink promos.
7. Topless Sunbathing and Nude Cruises: What’s Allowed?
Topless sunbathing used to be more common at sea, but most mainstream cruise lines have cracked down. You’re not going to get away with it on Carnival or Royal Caribbean. However, Virgin Voyages, a cruise line for adults only, has a designated topless sunbathing area called The Perch. If you’re interested in ditching the swimsuit altogether, some companies charter entire cruises for nude vacationers. So yes, nude cruising exists, but you’ll have to book carefully if that’s your vibe.
8. Casino Tips: How to Win (or Lose) Big
Cruise ship casinos can be thrilling, especially at sea. But they’re not the same as land-based casinos. For example, skill games like cranes might seem easy, but they often have settings that make winning rare. And cashing out can be more of a hassle—some cruise lines make you go to a cashier if you don’t have your key card inserted into the machine. These little quirks are good to know before you hit the tables.
9. Safety First, Even at Sea
Cruise ships are generally very safe, but like anywhere, you should always keep your wits about you. While falling overboard is extremely rare, it does happen, usually after dark. And although crime rates are lower than on land, sexual assault is the most reported crime on cruise ships. The best advice? Be aware of your surroundings, stick with friends, and make smart decisions. Your vacation should be about fun, not danger.
10. Room Stewards: They’re Always Watching
Lastly, don’t leave anything embarrassing out in your cabin. Your room steward will visit at least once a day to tidy up. Whether it’s that cheeky outfit you brought for the bedroom or a bottle of alcohol you weren’t supposed to sneak onboard, make sure it’s tucked away before heading out. A little caution saves a lot of awkwardness when you bump into your steward in the hallway later.
Conclusion: Enjoy, But Be Smart
Cruising is all about having fun, exploring new places, and making memories. But before you indulge in the wilder side of cruising, keep these tips in mind. Being smart about your choices will help you avoid viral videos, awkward encounters, and regrettable decisions. So go ahead, relax, unwind, and enjoy every moment—just do it wisely!
Check on YouTube